I have to have write and memorise a 2 minute speech by 3rd period tomorrow.

HEAVENS TO BETSY!

Our task was to write a Shakespearean soliloquy to fit into the play Much Ado About Nothing. I've decided to take on the role of Benedick(Who my English class calls "Being A Dick") talking about how much he luuuuuuuurves Beatrice. Riggght, so what am I doing here?

Why, procrastination, of course!

To aid my procrastination, I think I'll tell the story of my frustrating day. VENTAGE: Okay, I got to school this morning, dressed and ready for an exciting adventure in the Waitaks, I was a little late, but not trip-threateningly late. We waited for Charmaine for about 20 minutes untill we finally got a text from her saying she was too sick to make it, so we hopped aboard the mighty o' bus. On the bus, I sat in the seat in front of Frankie. BIG MISTAKE.. The whole bus ride she was sticking her face into the little groove between the seats and asking me stupid questions like "What's a harbourcraft?" (Explanation: Sian and I were making a joke about Isobelle, and at one point I said "You never know what secrets Izzy may be harbouring underneath that golden mane." To which Frankie said "What does harbouring mean?" -.-''. So I told her that when one harboured they floated in mid-air [As in, hovering.], and then I tried to explain to her the use of a hovercraft, which I actually told her was called a harbourcraft. She didn't understand and said "Ohh.. is that like.. a bike?" Anyway...) and "Do they make vegetarian watermelon?" (Another looong story involving Frankie believe watermelon is derived from sheep stomachs -.-'. When we arrived at the ranges, I was already fed up! We waited around a bit, took some pictures by the big frame(this totally awesome giant picture frame that you can take your picture by, and it looks like you're in a picture or painting of the scenery ^.^) and everyone marvelled at how totally yummy the vegan brownies I made the night before looked. When the park rangers finally arrived, we got our course, our map, our sack, our back-pack and our clipboard and set off down the Auckland City Circuit (which has like, nothing to do with Auckland city..). We stopped in a clearing to do our five minute bird observation. In the middle of listening to the Tui, Frankie started singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus.." very softly, gradually getting louder and louder, despite the constant "Shhhh"'s and "Shut up you little schmuck"'s from the park rangers. She even kept bopping along through several angry glares from Ms. Arthur, and those angry glares are NOT fun! When she finally stopped singing, she started sniffling, not cute little girly sniffles, more like great obese "Snnnchchorrrgle"s. Then when Dennis, the park ranger made a joke about it, saying "Snortius Nosius" (As in, he was naming all the birds for us to record, and "Snortius Nosius" was a "bird") but Frankie didn't get it, and though it was an actual bird and said very loudly "ISOBELLE, DID YOU WRITE THAT DOWN? DENNIS JUST SAID IT, WRITE IT DOWN!". When she finally got it, she kept sniffing, and waiting for people to laugh. No one laughed. By now it's only about 10:30, and time for us to start out individual routes. We've been given route AN18, which is of mediocre difficulty. We need a man of your calibre! We get to our track. We first start by walking a short distance to the edge of the golf course. We can't find out first trap. Isobelle and I go back to the ACC(Auckland City Circuit) and hang around by the bird box deciding who would be the serial killer if we were in one of those movies where the group gets lost in some forest/park/bush/field/place. We decided it would be me because I'm apparently the only one mean enough. Hmm... Sian and Frankie come back down to the ACC, and Frankie is whining about being tired and cold and wanting a break (we've walked a distance of about 100 metres). This is the first time I yell. Once we have that little kink smoothed out, we begin trekking on the other side of the ACC. We trekk happily for a while.. just chatting. Now we reach the hard part of the track, it goes down. Fast. Sian gets down fine but Frankie can't get over or under this branch, and Isobelle and I are stuck behind her talking about South Park and Futurama. This is the second time I yell. Once we finally get past this slope, Frankie rolled under the branch, Isobelle slid gracefully and I tripped and flung myself down the cliff-ish face, clinging greedily to a fern that in the end snapped and forced me into a very awkward one-legged-standing-back-bend-with-no-place-to-put-my-second-foot. If this wasn't enough, when I finally got myself into a non-awkward two-legged-standing-straight-backed-with-both-feet-planted-firmly position, Frankie gave me a sympathetic look and said "It's not that hard, Clair. You just have to get used to it." This is the third time I yell. We cross a very small babbling stream. At this point Frankie turns around and says "You really don't like me do you?" to which I say "I didn't say that.. All I said was Go-Servo-Go." We carry on, and reach a trap that has a rat in it(Isobelle and I name it Bucket[Beacause he kicked it!] and say a few words. Most of them being "Ew" and "Poor thing"), and Frankie has a tantrum and nearly starts crying because the dead rat is too gross. THEN she wants to lead! FRANKIE wants to LEAD! Over my dead body! This is the fourth time I yell. Note here that no one else has raised their voice yet, apart from Frankie to have a moan or a squeal. I plunge into the cuddy, or cutty grass, whatever it is, and get a bajillion scratches on my legs. Eugh. When I'm past the grasses and Sian has also emerged from the dangerous fauna we hear Frankie crying "Owwwww! It's darrrrrk in heeere ow ohhh ow ow ow! Guys? Guysss?! GUYS!" This is the fifth time I yell, and almost the first time Sian yells. When we get out of this, Frankie is very eager to lead, and gets yelled at some more. Sixth time! We finally make it to the stream! I get out my camera to take some pretty pictures, which may possibly be uploaded eventually. I want Isobelle and Sian in the picture so I get them to wade into the water with me, and our legs lose all form of sensation. Thissss is when Frankie wants to get into the water, to which we all object because we know she'll get completely saturated and be irritating on the rest of the trail. We tell her numerous times not to get in the water, but she still keeps making to walk into the water, getting her feet wet. This is the seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth time I yell. I was probably prettyyyyy mean, I remember saying "Frankie for Pete's sake NO! You'll get wet, then you'll get cold, you'll get hypothermia, then I'll be so *insert numerous profanities here* that I'll strangle the hell out of you and we'll leave your carcass in the bush to rot and NOBODY WILL FIND IT!" And get this.. after this extreme uproar, Frankie says "What does carcass mean?" *BLOWS UP*. After a LOT of yelling, a lot of bullying, and I'm sad to say a bit of push-and-shoving, I finally get my shots (even through Frankie's "Will you take a picture of meeeeee? Please! Take one of me!"). Then we start the walk to the ACC, along which I hilariously misplace my foot and end up sprawled all over a native plant and several logs and tree stumps. After a little more yelling(mine), we get to the ACC. We take the ACC back to the place where the bus is parked and everyone else is, having already arrived quite some time before us. We count our traps, identify our prints, and finally sit down at the frame to have some lunch. Frankie of course gets out 2 muffins, a luncheon stuffed roll, a brownie, a slice of some sweet-appley thing, a hunk of cheesy roll and a 1.5 litre bottle of juice. Yuck. I take some pictures of the ducks that come to inspect us, and then take my shoes and jacket off and run around crazily to let off some steam. Then we get back on the bus to go home, and Frankie tries to do this magic trick where she pretends to tie my fingers to some sort of invisible pulley and then winds an imaginary lever which was supposed to make my hands move together. Needless to say, it didn't work..

Now I feel a lot better, and I really should get on to my homework..